2009年考研英語40篇大作文演練與名師點評

第十一篇

　　11

　　Study the following picture carefully and write an essay in which you should:

　　1. describe the picture；

　　2. interpret the meaning of the picture;

　　3. make your comment.

　　You should write 160~200 words neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2.

　　由圖可知，本文屬于社會熱點類文章。圖畫非常簡潔，可以用一句話描述出來。這種情況比較特殊，可以將圖畫的描寫與圖畫的總體解讀放在第一段來寫。第二段寫此種現(xiàn)象的危害性，第三段寫解決問題的辦法，第四段作總結(jié)。In the picture, we see a “key” that is made up of piles of money. Besides the picture, we see the title of the picture—the key that is not a key. What does the drawer want to convey to us in such a single yet thought�瞤rovoking picture? After pondering, we finally find out that he is pointing at a deteriorating social phenomenon—some people form the habit of using money, instead of anything else, as the key to solving personal problems and gaining even illegal profits.

　　This practice is extremely harmful to the functioning and order of the whole society. On the one hand, it deprives the social system of its most distinctive feature—fairness. If we let it go on like this, after some time, people will lose the motive to develop their skills and enhance their ability, which are essential and indispensable to the making of any healthy, competitive and harmonious community. On the other hand, it may make the education of the younger generation exceedingly difficult—years of education may be forgotten once they step into the society and touch the harsh reality.

　　To put this unfavorable phenomenon to an end, the government should take the lead—the education of common people will take effect only when the real system restores its purity and officials observe self�瞕iscipline. Second, the media should facilitate the cultivation of healthy competition and highlight the importance of self�瞕evelopment. Last but not the least, everybody should behave and discipline at least himself instead of just complaining about the harsh reality—if nobody goes into the backdoor, the vicious circle will finally disappear.

　　Fairness does not come easily. With it, the pursuit of happiness will be made much easier as the social cost has been lowered significantly. We strongly believe that everybody needs it and everybody should observe it. Only when everybody puts it into practice will all of the social members enjoy higher living quality. 第一段頭兩句分別描述圖畫和點出標題。第三句和第四句通過設(shè)問句與破折號的使用引出了繪畫者所想提示的社會現(xiàn)象。這種寫法的好處是展示了簡明圖畫表達深刻含義的事實，并定格了由看圖到解圖的全過程。

　　第二段寫了該做法對社會的巨大危害。第一句是統(tǒng)領(lǐng)句，句中的functioning和order分別指“運行”和“順序”。然后分兩點來說，一方面說它剝奪了社會體系最顯著的特征，即公平。如果任其繼續(xù)，過一段時間人們將會失去自我發(fā)展和提高的動力，而這些對于健康、競爭與和諧的社會的建造是不可或缺的。句中使用了平行的動賓詞組和形容詞，請大家注意體會。另一方面說這種現(xiàn)象使得對年輕一代的教育越發(fā)困難——一旦他們步入社會、接觸到殘酷的現(xiàn)實，多年的教育可能就被遺忘。

　　第三段寫的是解決辦法。第一句使用了不定式直接加第一點的寫法，顯得非常簡潔。句中take effect表示“起作用”，self�瞕iscipline表示“自律”。第二點說的是媒體的作用，句中facilitate和highlight分別指“促進”和“強調(diào)”。第三點說的是個人的做法。句中vicious circle表示“惡性循環(huán)”。

　　第四段是總結(jié)性段落。段落緊扣在第二段提出，在第三段得到深化的“公平”概念。首句說公平來之不易。第二句說有了它，對幸福的追求將會容易得多，因為社會成本大大降低了。之后說我們堅信每個人都需要它，每個人也應(yīng)該遵守它。最后一句說只有每個人身體力行，所有社會成員的生活質(zhì)量才能提高。該文用簡潔的圖畫表達深刻的道理，這種類型講一個問題或一種現(xiàn)象，一定要一針見血，認準問題或現(xiàn)象，然后深入剖析。

　　寫文章時對全文的構(gòu)造要有個總體的安排，除了提綱中有明確規(guī)定的情形外，寫成“原因——后果——解決辦法”結(jié)構(gòu)是常見的選擇。

　　在安排好全文結(jié)構(gòu)后，一定要在段間呼應(yīng)和段落的邏輯發(fā)展上下足工夫，這樣就容易取得較好的效果。比如最后一段，第一句直接呼應(yīng)了第二段的第一點，實際上這也是第三段一直討論的內(nèi)容。第二句緊接第一句說了公平的重要性。第三句趁熱打鐵說每個人都需要它，也一定要遵守它——這一句很妙，前半句呼應(yīng)了上一句，后半句引出了下一句。最后一句是倒裝句，很有力度，前半句緊接上句，后半句說美好的結(jié)果，又扣了該段第二句的開頭。就是這種環(huán)環(huán)相扣、細針密縷的寫法，將文章編織成了有機的整體，獲得了預(yù)想的效果。