In some people’s opinions, it is reasonable to expect a reward when doing a good deed. First and foremost, “No pay, no gain”. Now that some efforts have been taken, people should gain rewards. Besides, if holding a expectation of rewarding, people would be encouraged to do good deeds.
第二段進(jìn)行詞匯升級(jí)之后,形成這樣的句子:
Some people defend that it deserves to be rewarded after a good deed has been done in that they believe that contemporary society has increasingly converted to “money worship” community. Now that expending time, dedicating effort, or even consuming money in doing good deeds, correspondently, it is appropriate to acquire rewards. Besides, rewarding those who have conducted good deeds would inspire them to do more. (最后一句話可寫可不寫)
第二段主要升級(jí)的地方有:
1.從單詞角度來說,原先用到的低級(jí)單詞,詞組乃至諺語的使用,比如:In some people’s opinions,reasonable,“No pay, no gain”, gain,encourage,上升到defend,deserves to,converted ,money worship,community ,appropriate,acquire,correspondent,inspire之類的高端詞匯。我們可以看到,得到升級(jí)的詞匯主要還是集中在動(dòng)詞方面。另外,我們?cè)趯懽鞯臅r(shí)候可以預(yù)見到的就是“No pay, no gain”一定將會(huì)成為寫作當(dāng)中的高頻詞匯并且被其他考生濫用至死。那么我們就應(yīng)該避免與他人的重復(fù),一個(gè)money worship拜金主義,讓考官一眼就明白了想要表達(dá)的意思。
2.既然單詞升級(jí)了,那么句型的用法自然也得到了相應(yīng)的升級(jí)。比如說原先是四句話解決的問題,改變之后就用三句話可以說清楚。同時(shí)連接起來相對(duì)更加通順自然,因果,并列,遞進(jìn),轉(zhuǎn)折,一氣呵成,文章的起承轉(zhuǎn)合更加通順。造成這個(gè)的根本原因就是in that這個(gè)詞組的使用。因此我們?cè)谠~匯升級(jí)的同時(shí),一定要注意到這些基本連詞的使用技巧。
3. 用以表達(dá)認(rèn)為,猜測(cè),想等心里活動(dòng)的動(dòng)詞有:suppose,figure,reckon,believe,presume,assume,defend,argue,reason
用以表達(dá)獲得的單詞有:obtain,attain,acquire
用以表達(dá)改變,轉(zhuǎn)變的單詞有:divert,convert,alter,transfer,transform
In spite of all these claims, most people agree that there is unnecessary to reward after doing a good deed. Most important of all, doing good deeds should originate in human’s heart. It’s pleasure to help others. Moreover, Leifeng, doing lots of good deeds without rewards, is regarded as a model. That is to say, praise is beyond a good deed. Finally, it is a responsibility to help others in trouble.
第三段進(jìn)行詞匯升級(jí)之后,形成這樣的句子:
In spite of above-mentioned statements, the majority still consent that it is dispensable to reward people of doing good. Take Mr. Leifeng as an example, he spent his whole frugal life in aiding and assisting others without any return. Up to the present, people commemorate him in every 5th March. He declined rewards and awards but achieved regards and respects. Therefore, doing good deeds should be based on one’s beautiful mind, which is a sort of virtue out of self-consciousness. Meanwhile, doing good deeds incarnates man’s social liabilities and obligations.
第三段升級(jí)的地方有更多:
1. 對(duì)于單詞的升級(jí)有:above-mentioned,majority,consent,dispensable,frugal, aiding and assisting,return ,Up to the present,commemorate,declined ,regards and respects,self-consciousness,incarnates,liabilities and obligations。文章中尤其重視了對(duì)押頭韻的方法寫作,使用的單詞更是一般學(xué)生不會(huì)在寫作中涉及的單詞。比如說到責(zé)任,學(xué)生會(huì)第一時(shí)間想到一個(gè)詞:responsibility。但是在文章中,既然別人都使用這樣的高頻詞匯,那么我們?cè)诮o與單詞升級(jí)的時(shí)候,就要避免出現(xiàn)這樣的高頻單詞。
2.文章的結(jié)構(gòu)更加的完美。開頭就帶入雷鋒同志的先進(jìn)事例,通過舉例說明引出為什么不要得到回報(bào)的兩點(diǎn)原因。這樣的文章更能表現(xiàn)出有理推斷的寫作邏輯。通過改變我們寫作的順續(xù)就可以將文章豐滿,這也是值得我們?nèi)ソ梃b的地方。
Weighing the pros and cons of these arguments, I am inclined to agree with the latter point of view. Although it is not an error that getting rewards legally in doing good deeds, I don’t think it is virtuous. How can we, being warm-hearted and well-educated people in contemporary society, not do good deeds without rewards?
第四段進(jìn)行詞匯升級(jí)之后,形成這樣的句子:
Weighing the pros and cons, I am inclined to approve the latter viewpoint. Although reward accepting can hardly be accounted for a blunder, I still deem that doing good deeds without reward should be consistently a favorable custom in the country. I hold this truth as self-evident that ask not what others do for you, ask what you do for others.
第四段在變臉之后
1.詞匯升級(jí)的部分有:approve,viewpoint,accounted for,blunder,deem,consistently,favorable custom,在最后一段其實(shí)是表明自己的觀點(diǎn)的同時(shí),對(duì)文章的中心論點(diǎn)進(jìn)行再次的闡明和強(qiáng)調(diào)。與其和別人大相徑庭的結(jié)尾進(jìn)行模版式的搬弄,還不如在文章的最后進(jìn)行主題的升華。
2.文章的最后一句話就是一篇文章的主題的再突出,用了兩句名人名言的改寫,一個(gè)是林肯總統(tǒng),一個(gè)是羅斯?偨y(tǒng)的話。讓人感覺文章的檔次瞬間上升。相比較而言,什么NO PAY NO GAIN這樣的土話就請(qǐng)大家以后不要再用了。
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