Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a composition on the topic A Food Poisoning Accident. You should write at least 120 words, and base your composition on the outline (given in Chinese) below:
你的幾個(gè)同學(xué)因食用了從某超市買回的食品而中毒,幸虧及時(shí)治療而脫險(xiǎn)。請描述他(們)中毒與脫險(xiǎn)的過程,并呼吁要加強(qiáng)食品安全。
A Food Poisoning Accident _______________________________________________________________________________
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行文思路
本題屬于情景式命題。提綱要求描述一件事情的經(jīng)過,由此可判斷本文應(yīng)為記敘文。
根據(jù)所給提綱,本文應(yīng)包含如下內(nèi)容:交待食物中毒的背景和原因;敘述中毒的和脫險(xiǎn)的經(jīng)過;談?wù)動(dòng)纱艘l(fā)的感想,呼吁加強(qiáng)食品安全。
高分范文
A Food Poisoning Accident
Last month, I [1]witnessed a food poisoning accident [2]happening to my classmates. At that time the situation was really very dangerous and urgent. Though finally they got out of danger, this accident [3]is still vivid in my mind.
That day was Julie’s birthday, one of my classmates. In order to celebrate it, her roommates bought a big birthday cake for her from a supermarket nearby. They shared the cake happily. [4]However, after a while, all of them felt abdominal pain, nausea and dizziness. Two of them even cannot stand up because of great pain. We [5]rushed to send them to the hospital. [6]It turned out that the cake they ate had expired its guarantee period. Futunately, [7]due to timely treatment, they all recovered very soon.
[4]However, this accident [8]leaves me a deep ponder. I think it is very urgent to take effective measures to improve food safety. [4]Firstly, the government should [9]strengthen supervision and administration on food safety. [4]More importantly, to those who immoral businessmen, more strict punishment should be given. [4]Besides, we consumers should be more careful in buying food. [10]Only in this way can we make sure that no same accident happens.
【亮點(diǎn)點(diǎn)評】
[1]“目睹,目擊”。
[2]“發(fā)生在某人身上”,現(xiàn)在分詞短語作定語。
[3]“仍然令我記憶猶新”。
[4]過渡銜接詞語,使文章條理清晰、銜接緊密。
[5]“聞?dòng)嵹s來”。
[6]“結(jié)果是,原來是”。
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